During my lunch break today I had an in-depth conversation with someone on the phone. Afterward I spent some time just sitting in my truck thinking about our conversation, listening to the radio and watching the rain run in rivulets down my windshield. First I focused on the actual rivulets. How some seemed to run straight and some would divert for no reason. I'd watch some in an imaginary race and see which drop would win.
Then I started looking beyond the drops and rivulets and looking out the windshield. I could see outside, but noticed that everything was distorted; some things slightly, some things greatly, but all was distorted to some extent. Now if I had believed what I was seeing was how it was in reality, I would be going around thinking there were some awfully curved trees out there! But it got me thinking.
The rain was an external factor distorting my view of reality. And in my real life I have lots of external factors going on right now and realized that in the same way the rain distorted the view out of my windshield, these external factors are distorting what I see in my life and how I respond. What is true, is true. Doesn't matter how it looks to me at the time based on external factors. I have to remind myself what is real and true. Otherwise I react to the distortion and that in turn just makes my world even more topsy turvy! I memorized quite a bit of Scripture as a teen and in college and though I couldn't recall this verse word for word it made me think of it.
"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." I Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)
I have to realize that even without all the current external factors, that in this life I will see in a distorted way. It is partial and incomplete. But I can trust in the fact that God knows how it is supposed to be and knows me completely. He knows my flaws and imperfections. He knows how badly I want to "fix" and "control" everything around me. He knows how my fixing it just makes it worse most of the time. Yet, amazingly, He in His infinite patience and love is still there. I can't prove it, but I know it, deep within I know this to be the truth. The undistorted truth. He does love me and wants the best for me. For now I just have to continue to trust that He sees the big picture and quit getting in His way. Easier said than done for sure. But next time I'm tempted to jump in and make things work like I think they should work or look, I'll try hard to first remember that I'm simply seeing this world in a distorted way. But one day I will see everything with perfect clarity.
