Greener Grass - Real or Fake?

The grass IS greener on the other side of the fence!  But it might just be fake....

Last week while I was out on a property that I manage I was watching our landscape company paint the grass.  Yes, you heard me, they were painting the grass green. 

You see, it is winter here and the grass is dormant, but this community is at the beach and is a higher end resort community.  Many of us who live in the area call it a "bubble."  Our job is to make everything as perfect as possible, even the grass.  The snowbirds don't flock down here just to see more brown grass.  And while winter rye is an option, due to the boardwalks/walkways we didn't want those seeds sprouting up in between walkways.  So painting is the most viable option in this case until it's time for the grass to come out of it's dormant state.

However, this started me thinking on how many other areas in life that instead of dealing with the real issues we cover it up so that externally it looks healthy and green. Yet underneath it is brown, dead or dormant. I've really gotten into word meaning lately so looked up the definition for dormant.

dor·mant  [ˈdôrmənt]

 

ADJECTIVE

(of an animal) having normal physical functions suspended or slowed down for a period of time; in or as if in a deep sleep:

"dormant butterflies"

"the event evoked memories that she would rather had lain dormant"

synonyms: asleep · sleeping · resting · inactive · passive · inert · latent · quiescent

antonyms: awake · active

• (of a plant or bud) alive but not actively growing.

So to have a dormant area in our life means we have an area that is still alive, but it is inactive, not actively growing and/or suspended from it's normal functions.  To revive these kinds of areas takes work, time and effort.  Sometimes it takes an external boost, like fertilizer or extra nutrients, or in practical terms things like counseling or small groups.  * Disclaimer: there are times in our lives where a period of inactivity or rest is needed for future growth.

 

Covering the grass in green paint is very much like the definition of mask: "a manner or expression that hides one's true character or feelings; a pretense." 

 

Obviously not everyone that asks us "how are you?" truly cares or wants to hear a real answer.  But it is important that we learn to be real with ourselves first and foremost.  From there we learn to be real with God, with our spouses and with a mentor, sponsor, accountability person or a trusted friend.  And who knows, you may just find out someone else has been there, done that, before you and can turn out to be an asset and source of strength you never expected to find.

 

"When you show up authentic, you create the space for others to do the same." ~ unknown

 

"Be careful who you pretend to be, you may forget who you are." ~ unknown

 

 

 

Word of the Year (2018) - THRIVE!

2018.  This year is starting off somewhat different than other years.  For one thing I didn't write out an unattainable list of resolutions.  Things that I will forget by mid-March, if not sooner.  Instead I created a vision board, divided up in categories such as health, spiritual, family, travel, finance, career, etc. and with photos, quotes and goals on how I want each of those areas to look in my life in this upcoming year. 
I'm also using a planner and combining short journaling, a planner, calendar, goal setting, gratitude list, prayer list, stickers and mini scrapbooking and other items all in one place.

In mid-December I started going to Al-Anon and realized that I spent too much time attempting to fix or manage other people or things that are not my responsibility, while neglecting focusing on my own life and areas I need to work on.  They have great quotes, like "Live and Let Live" and "Let Go and Let God."  The group is also helping me see my codependency issues, control issues and anger and resentments I have toward others when they don't meet my expectations.  I could go on and on about this group, what I'm learning there, and their slogans, but will save that for another day.

The biggest decision so far this year was that I decided to take at least a month to live alone and work through some of my codependent and boundary issues.  A healing time.  To learn to make changes for MY life, and not to try to manipulate someone else to make changes in theirs.  And that if they choose to not ever change, then learn to accept that and be able to move on, freely and without resentments.

All of this culminated in my mind to incorporate the word THRIVE.  Nineteen days in and I realize that having a word is great and all, but that it was time to really explore what that word even means and how I can use it in my life in a practical way.  What does it mean?  What does it not mean?  How can I apply it?

First is the definition.  According to Webster:

Thrive [THrīv]

 

VERB

thrives (third person present) · thrived (past tense) · throve (past tense) · thriving (present participle) · thriven (past participle)

(of a child, animal, or plant) grow or develop well or vigorously:

"the new baby thrived"

• prosper; flourish:
  "education groups thrive on organization"
• "a thriving economy"
  synonyms: flourish · prosper · burgeon · bloom · blossom · mushroom · do well · advance · succeed · boom · flourishing · prosperous · prospering · growing · developing · burgeoning

While searching for the definition I saw multiple definitions on failure to thrive.  This was a medical diagnosis given to my daughter when she was a year old.  "A child is said to have failure to thrive when they don’t meet recognized standards of growth."  It is a stagnation of growth and if it persists can result in a feeding tube becoming necessary for the child to survive.

 

So basically thriving isn't just out there having fun and living life to the fullest.  No synonyms include the words party or fun.  Not that we shouldn't live life to the fullest.  I firmly believe we should make the most of the life we are blessed with.  Twice in the past few months I've seen someone whose life was cut short, way to short, unexpected and devastating.

 

To truly thrive means to grow.  Not just a growth of survival, an absence of death; but a growth that is marked by flourishing and vigor.  As I make decisions this year, they need to be seen through the lens of thriving.  Will this decision, will this choice, will this action encourage a vigorous growth in my life, or will it be detrimental to my physical, spiritual or mental well-being?  What friends, situations and activities will reinforce the principles in my life and help them grow stronger?  What choices will help me keep my boundaries so that other influences don't choke out success, but cause stagnation of growth? What am I willing to do so that I can make the best decisions to flourish and I don't get to the point where I would need an external force ("feeding tube") making decisions for me simply to sustain life? When I see the word thrive throughout this year, those are the questions I will be reminding myself of.

 

So there you have it, my word of the year for 2018.  THRIVE!