When a Tiny Project Keeps Growing...and Growing...and Growing!

Currently underway is a huge sealant and painting project at a community that I manage.  One that will last several months long.  One thing I've noticed is that as they complete one section, the sections next to it, that I thought looked fine prior, now look in dire need of a coat of paint. 

The exterior paint job has also highlighted some areas in the interior of the underground parking.  So I decided to have my staff brighten up a few things in there as well.  First thing was to repaint all the blue handicap areas and the blue stripes in the parking lot.  Once this was done it made the white arrows and white stripes look dull.  So then I directed them to paint the white.  After the white was done you could see the sidewalk floor leading to the elevator lobby badly needed a fresh coat of paint.  That job was completed yesterday so then today I noticed that much of the yellow curbing now looks dull, with black marks on along the front sides of the curbs.  What was going to be a quick touch up of the blue has now led to our second week of interior garage painting.

Have you ever done that?  Where you paint one area of your home and then realize everything around it now looks dirty or dingy?  Or maybe you've cleaned out your refrigerator and felt great about it until you opened the freezer and realized it needs it too.

As I was giving my staff direction this morning on the addition of painting the yellow curbing I realized that this is happening in my life right now too.  There was a specific thing I had really wanted to work on regarding personal growth.  In that endeavor I have a mentor that I meet with regularly to bounce things off of and to get a different perspective on some things other than just my own thoughts on a subject.  It also provides accountability.  Much the same as I meet regularly with my staff, so that if they get tired of painting, I can encourage them to keep on and point out areas that they are doing great, but on occasion point out areas for improvement or safety.  To make sure they are using tape to keep straight lines or a reminder to put out wet floor or wet paint signs.  And then sometimes, like today, they thought they were finally done and I added the yellow curbs to the list. 

Today I felt that way personally, like God was speaking to me and adding way more to my personal growth list than I had bargained for. Telling me that I still have blurred lines and to use His Word to make sure my lines stay straight. That made me wonder if maybe I need to hang a "caution, work in progress" sign around my neck!  Just kidding.  But seriously, just as I'm getting one area all spiffed up and a fresh coat of paint, I turn and see another area being highlighted that now appears dirty or dingy.  In one way I'm grateful because if my first impression had just been all the messy areas in my life I might have given up long ago. So in that way I'm grateful that it is a process.  However, it is one that is definitely growing and growing. 

Questions to ask myself:

• What are some areas in my life that I want to change or are currently working on? 
• In that process have I seen other areas that weren't even on my radar before now being highlighted? 
• Does it discourage me that it could become a never ending list? 
• Or am I encouraged because while I know it is becoming much more in-depth than I had ever imagined, I also know how satisfied it feels when a specific project or area is completed? 
• Am I willing to continue to make improvements, even if that means I will be constantly improving and learning until my last breath?

Here's a verse that I use to encourage myself:

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.  - Philippians 1:6

Braces - The Process for a Great Smile

When I was around 30 I decided to get braces.  My top teeth were nice and straight, but the bottom ones were crooked.  I debated getting them as I thought if I've gone this long without braces, then what's the point.  Thankfully someone else I knew had braces as an adult and reminded me that two years of braces, even as an adult, were well worth the next 50+ years of nice straight teeth.  Two years at that moment literally felt "forever" but she was right.  A decade or so later those two years seem to be just a blip and am so grateful I went through with it.

At the consultation I was told that the wisdom teeth would all have to come out.  Two had erupted and two were still in the gum.  They didn't hurt anymore (they did at first) and I couldn't see them, but they still had to be removed.  This involved going to a surgery center, being put out and days of pain and recuperation and complications with dry socket.

Also there I asked if I could just get braces on the bottom ones, the ones that were crooked.  Was told for it to be effective I would have to have braces on EVERY. SINGLE. TOOTH! This was because the crooked teeth relied on the wires and brackets of the other teeth to work together to be in proper alignment.  And to make such drastic changes in direction, there needed to be much reinforcement and a lot of bracing, brackets, metal and ugh, rubberbands.

The straightening process also required monthly check ins with my orthodontist to make sure my teeth were on the right track.  At these appointments adjustments were made and at times more stretching via smaller rubberbands were incorporated. Often times at the end of these appointments the new adjustments would bring the pain back again.

It didn't take long and they straightened up.  So of course I asked if I could have the braces removed now as they were now visibly straight and not the estimated two years they were saying to leave them on. In response to that the orthodontist showed me my x-rays. He showed me how while my teeth outwardly looked straight, the roots to the teeth were still crooked, as being an adult they had had lots of years to establish strong roots in the wrong location.

When I was finally done with this long process and had the brackets and braces removed, was told that I would still have to have a retainer. I ended up choosing a permanent retainer that was cemented to the back of my teeth.  This way if any changes happened, if the teeth retained any of the "memory" and tried to go back to their former positions, they would always be shored up and stay aligned.

What's my point with all of this?  I can see correlations to each step of the process to making changes in our lives.

First off its easy to think, well I've lived my life this way this long, what's the point of changing now?  Don't give up hope. Don't think it is too late.  Until your last breath, it is never to late for change!

I have some family members that have committed to long term (9-12mths) rehab type settings and while that sounds forever, in the grand scheme of things, it will be great and lasting changes for the rest of their lives.  Much like the two years I thought were forever, looking back it was so short and so worthwhile.  There are often things in our life that the process seems to long, but positive changes, whether made in a moment, a day or even over the course of a year or more, are so worth it.

The removal of the molars, even the ones I can't see remind me of hidden things in our lives, maybe no one else has a clue that they are there, but they are hindering growth and change and until we go through the cutting and removal of these obstacles, nothing else we do will be lasting.  Even if we don't think they are hurting us now, and we know the removal will definitely be painful, this is the basis for all the rest.

As far as just having braces on the bottom, all the teeth have to have braces on them to work together to reach the proper alignment.  In life, with major changes you need every aspect shored up.  Let people come along side you and help shore up these changes.  Most changes require other unexpected changes in conjunction to provide the full, lasting change.  Be willing to be stretched. 

Like the monthly orthodontist appointments, if needed, go to professionals, whether that be doctors or counselors, or both.  Be willing to made adjustments.  Even if they feel like they are temporarily increasing the pain more than they are helping.

It's so easy, at least for me, to make temporary changes and then feel like everything is now fine.  Without realizing that possibly neural pathways in the brain have developed grooves and deep seated behaviors have formed even more deeply established roots.  So while the outside may be looking nice and neat, don't let down your guard or your shoring up in this stage, as the root causes still need time to be removed or reset in the proper locations.  Leave the braces on until your roots are strong and aligned with the new position of the external (the teeth in this case).

And finally, when the obstacles have been removed, you have stayed the course for the duration of bracing and stretching, you showed up for each appointment, you followed the advice given and it's time to be free of all the metal and brackets and rubberbands, there is still one last thing.  The permanent retainer.  What guidelines have you established as the truth in your life?  The non-negotiables? This is cementing your retainer in place.  So that no matter what the other teeth, or people, do around you, no matter what outside obstacles come at you, you will stand firm, stay aligned and straight.  Removable retainers allow you, after time, to slowly no longer feel the need for them, and eventually never use it again.  Take the time, money and effort to make your retainer permanent. Don't give yourself the option to let time allow you to progressively use it less and less until you no longer feel the need for it.  I can't say it enough, cement it in place. I've taken all the above steps before; the pain, the time and the effort, and years down the road found myself right back in the same place. This is incredibly frustrating and discouraging.

To recap -

• remove the deep hidden obstacles
• shore up and bracket all the support areas to the changes you want to make
• ask for help
• use professionals if needed
• don't rush the process
• establish permanent boundaries to ensure long lasting changes. 

Then SMILE!!  Use your new smile to bring joy to those around you.  And if someone asks how you got such a beautiful smile, be willing to share with them how they too can make these changes in their life. 

Hearing God - "Am I Enough?"

So God has been speaking to me all day. But not quite what I wanted to hear. No "you are enough" confirmations, no "I'm going to take away your addictions or desires," no free passes of "I'll overlook your excess spending because it's the lesser of the evils," no "it's ok to go searching for guy validation because you feel bad." No direction, no guidance, no easy buttons. Nope, all He keeps saying is "am I enough?" He isn't focused on if I feel I'm enough. Because we are here to glorify HIM. It isn't about me. Is He all I need? Is He who I turn to? Is He being praised despite feelings or circumstances?

And how do you reconcile that? When you know the right answer is "yes, Lord, you are enough." Yet your flesh is still yelling, no, it's not enough. I want my soup (when Esau had no patience and thought he would die of hunger and was willing to give up his birthright for a bowl of soup - story found in Genesis 25:29-34). I want it now. I don't want patience. I can't always see my right as His daughter and at moments my current needs seem the end all.  When you struggle to see the long term consequences because the short term desires are so in your face they are blocking your view. 

So He continues to whisper, all day into the night, "am I enough now? Am I enough if things don't change? Am I enough even when you can't see beyond the minute by minute trusting?" And while I so badly want to whole heartedly say "yes, You are my all, my enough, my everything" all I can get out is "Dear Lord, I want you to be enough, but I can't do it myself.  Please change my heart, my attitude, my desires. Help me not be short sighted. Help me see the path to life. Help me moment by moment choose that path. Give me your peace, and not let me be satisfied with temporary worldly peace." And then trust that He isn't disappointed in my shortcomings. In my brutal honesty. And that as I choose life that more and more I'll stand solid, firm and anchored and know that He truly is enough.