Hearing God - "Am I Enough?"

So God has been speaking to me all day. But not quite what I wanted to hear. No "you are enough" confirmations, no "I'm going to take away your addictions or desires," no free passes of "I'll overlook your excess spending because it's the lesser of the evils," no "it's ok to go searching for guy validation because you feel bad." No direction, no guidance, no easy buttons. Nope, all He keeps saying is "am I enough?" He isn't focused on if I feel I'm enough. Because we are here to glorify HIM. It isn't about me. Is He all I need? Is He who I turn to? Is He being praised despite feelings or circumstances?

And how do you reconcile that? When you know the right answer is "yes, Lord, you are enough." Yet your flesh is still yelling, no, it's not enough. I want my soup (when Esau had no patience and thought he would die of hunger and was willing to give up his birthright for a bowl of soup - story found in Genesis 25:29-34). I want it now. I don't want patience. I can't always see my right as His daughter and at moments my current needs seem the end all.  When you struggle to see the long term consequences because the short term desires are so in your face they are blocking your view. 

So He continues to whisper, all day into the night, "am I enough now? Am I enough if things don't change? Am I enough even when you can't see beyond the minute by minute trusting?" And while I so badly want to whole heartedly say "yes, You are my all, my enough, my everything" all I can get out is "Dear Lord, I want you to be enough, but I can't do it myself.  Please change my heart, my attitude, my desires. Help me not be short sighted. Help me see the path to life. Help me moment by moment choose that path. Give me your peace, and not let me be satisfied with temporary worldly peace." And then trust that He isn't disappointed in my shortcomings. In my brutal honesty. And that as I choose life that more and more I'll stand solid, firm and anchored and know that He truly is enough.