Friday, September 12, 2014

Golf Stories

Today I went golfing for the first time.  In preparation I did go once last weekend to a driving range and then to a puttering course yesterday.  But today was my first time actually playing on a golf course and started with a bang at Burnt Pine, a private course designed by Rees Jones.  While my game, if you can even call it that yet, leaves much to be desired and much, much to be learned, it was an incredibly fun time laughing, talking and enjoying the gorgeous day.  There were six of us and we played three and three.  As much fun as whacking balls was driving the golf carts, especially off the path and on the rolling hills. 

The caddy was probably entertained by our accidental insinuations, that were truly said in complete innocence, but had me biting my lip not to start laughing out loud. First he grabs two of our golf bags and was waiting to pick up the third.  But we weren't sure which bag we wanted to use.  So told him go ahead and take those two over to the golf carts then come back.  One of the other ladies commented, "I think he was wanting to wait and do a threesome." Not positive he heard that one as he was walking away from us with his back to us.  But when he came back we were trying to decide which would be better for me, men's that were taller (for my tall self) but heavier, or ladies that were shorter but much lighter.  He was trying to explain the difference in the clubs and told us that the men's clubs had stiffer shafts.  Another lady asked, "why would men want stiffer shafts?"  That is when I had to bite my lip not to bust out in laughter! I was quite impressed by his ability to maintain his composure (you could tell he was amused though) and finish explaining the reasoning.

This week while getting ready Ron started telling me about his golf experiences.  The craziest part of that is that I've known him for 18 years now and never knew he used to golf! But during high school he used to golf, had his own set of clubs and took golf lessons with his dad at the club.  He was trying to give me tips.  I looked at him and said, "How can you give me tips when you've never played?"  And that is when I learned that you can live with someone for years and years and still find out new things about them.  Today while telling him about the golf carts he proceeded to tell me about how he was swerving on a path and flipping a golf cart while on the course one time, hurting himself and his brother and nearly totaling the cart. While that wasn't really funny, it has been interesting learning more about my husband and things he used to like and enjoy and things I never knew about him.

But for a funny, funny golf story, my dad wins hands down!  Talked to him on the phone tonight and this is the story he told me.  Granted he is a master story teller so to get the full effect, you'd have to hear him tell the story.  This is my best effort at relaying it how I heard it via writing.  Back when he was in the Navy he and a buddy went to a course to play golf.  You are just hitting a ball, so how hard can that be, right?  Neither of them had ever played or even been on a driving range before.  So they check out a set of clubs and head off to tackle the popular sport of golf.  My dad is up first.  He pulls his club back and swings.....the ball flies into the air, and hits a tree (yes, Dad, I totally know that feeling after today, my first swing also hit a tree). His buddy steps up and its his turn to tee off.  The ball is lined up, the guy takes his stance, pulls the club back and swings...the ball rolls 6" forward. BUT the club continues to fly far to the left.  So far to the left that it flies in front of the shooting range! Why the military would have guys shooting next to guys golfing is beyond me, but that is beside the point.  The guy shooting stops and looks at this club now lying in front of him.  My dad's buddy looks at my dad and says, "YOU go get the club."  My dad, always the most practical person I've ever known, responded with, "No way, that guy has a gun!"  Needless to say his buddy finally retrieved his club.  They look at each other both decide they are done and walk back to return the clubs.  This is where I thought the story ended, but one last little laugh.  It had been a drizzly day so the lady at the clubhouse asked them if they would like a rain check so that they can come back and try again later.  Handing over the clubs they emphatically decline the rain check and announce they are done.  And that was the ONE and ONLY time my dad has played golf!

What is your most memorable golf experience?





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